Escaping Anxiety
Today I escaped from anxiety. Or no, I discarded it, because it was within me, in my own perceptions — not outside.
~Meditations, Marcus Aurelius
I think one of the hardest things for us to overcome is something that resides within us. We can’t avoid it. No matter where we go, there it is. We carry it with us. We have to be able to deal with it, or else it’s going to keep causing issues in our lives.
Anxiety is a hard one. As I see it, anxiety is a fear of a potential future or outcome. It’s fretting over something that’s not even real. But anxiety itself is a real difficulty we all face. What matters is how we approach it.
One of the lessons I try to instill in my children is how to face our fears and anxieties. I’ll say something like, “Clean up your LEGOs,” and my son will say, “I can’t. I’m too scared.” He’s not scared. He just doesn’t want to do it. But I’ll remind him that we can’t be brave if we aren’t at least a little scared. It doesn’t work. He still doesn’t want to pick up his LEGOs, but I’m trying.
The truth is that we all face anxiety. We all have things that are uncertain, especially when it comes to the future. The question is whether or not we are going to allow that anxiety to control us.
When Marcus Aurelius says that he discarded his anxiety, it’s because he realizes that anxiety comes from within. Outside circumstances may cause us to react with anxiety, but they are not the source of our anxiety. Once we realize that, we are in a better position to overcome it.
A couple weeks ago, I was leading a pretty important meeting, and I was very anxious about it. I didn’t sleep well. I didn’t feel like I prepared well enough. I wasn’t sure if people would show up, or if I had thought through all the logistics. There was just a lot of uncertainty, and I was very anxious about it.
The meeting went very well. It was scheduled for four hours, I thought it would only go two and a half. But the meeting we so well that we didn’t get to all the stuff I wanted to cover, at least not to the extent that I wanted to cover it. People felt good about it, and there was a general excitement about the possibilities.
Looking back, I had no reason to be anxious, and I knew it. But that didn’t help at the time. Isn’t this how most of our anxieties shape up? We worry ourselves sick, and everything works out. A lot of it has to do with our mindset.
So, next time you feel anxiety starting to boil up from within, remember, you have a choice. You can allow that anxiety to take over, or you can, like Marcus, discard it. Easier said than done, for sure. But you can do it.
